Jord.
No one thinks of a shovel when they think of a weapon, there are no famous shovels. There are legendary swords, arrows, knives, whips, but no shovels.
Because of this, I tried my hand at just about every kind of weapon, and found myself to be decent, but they never felt natural to me. I was too slow with the ax and broad sword, under stress my arrows tended to fly wild and my accuracy with a throwing knife was not dependable. Eventually I settled on the sword. I was okay with it and I liked the intimidation factor.
One day I was working on a ditch when a gang of goblins attacked me. All I had was my shovel, so that is what I used. I spun, jumped, smashed, chopped and beat my way through them like a fat boy working on a pinata. As I stood there, gazing at the dust cloud of their retreat, I had an epiphany. I had always been good with a shovel. It was a gift. I could move and shape earth faster and better than anyone I knew. The shovel became my primary tool for close combat. Years later I saved an elfin princess from her would-be kidnappers and her father presented me with a battle shovel, especially commissioned and built for me. The blade is made of fine steel, the handle is elfin hickory, and the whole thing cured in bull oger pee. Yes, I said pee. It is gross, but a weapon soaked in bull oger pee is pretty much indestructable, so I dealt with it.
I named my shovel Bill, after one of my heroes, the biggest Billy Goat Gruff, the legendary troll hunter. People look at me funny when I speak about my battle shovel, but results are results and they learn to respect the shovel.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteif you look at the drawing you might notece the awesome photoshoping I had to do to get the whole thing in. I need to be more carful about the way i draw. the stuff needs to fit my scaner.
ReplyDelete